Dear fellow young Christians,
Despite what we’ve been told all our lives, true love doesn’t actually wait.
Keep reading before you jump to conclusions.
If you grew up a “church kid”, or even if you didn’t, you likely know the movement: True Love Waits. Well, I disagree. I think the movement is great–the heart of the movement, at least. Encouraging young people to abstain from sex until marriage is good. Jesus told us to abstain, and He knew exactly what was best for us. The problem with this movement comes from the methods of encouragement. Encouraging young people to promise to wait to have sex for their future husband or wife, and sealing the promise with a purity ring on their left finger should not be the goal.
Purity shouldn’t ever be “taken off”
Don’t get me wrong: I’ve had a purity ring on my left finger for years, and it still remains on my finger. It reads: “Purity” on one side, and “Matthew 5:8” on the other. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matt. 5:8). Pure at heart. Purity is a state of the heart, a lifestyle, and it’s everlasting when you exchange your life with Christ. Purity is not something that we hold onto until our wedding night. If God decides that we are to be married, purity is to be maintained throughout the entirety of that marriage. If it isn’t, then there are some huge problems coming.
Don’t wait for true love
Even more popular than Matthew 5:8 being engraved on those bands that wrap our left fingers is the classic words of the movement: “true love waits”. But true love has already come. There is no waiting involved. True love is Jesus. He’s not my boyfriend, my fiancé, or my Husband, but He is most certainly my true love. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) There is no greater love than His. The best has already come, so what do we all think we’re waiting for?
Stop waiting for your “soulmate”
*BUBBLE BURSTER WARNING*: your “soulmate”, as you have imagined, doesn’t exist. Nowhere in the Bible did God tell us that He has designed the perfect person for us to marry. He did create a mate for our soul, though–Jesus. Jesus is the only One who will perfectly satisfy our souls forever. For girls, we’ve grown up waiting for our Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet. We’ve been waiting for our knight in shining armor to come riding in on a white horse and change our lives. But life doesn’t begin when we get married. Life begins when we make the beautiful exchange with Jesus, our Savior.
“I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow; and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on a conquest.” (Rev. 6:2)
Sound familiar? Our fairytales growing up have been centered around the coming of Jesus, our knight in shining armor, our Prince, without us even realizing it.
In Pulling Back The Shades, Juli Slattery puts it: “Have you ever realized that God’s Word promises that Jesus will come on a white horse and will rescue his bride, that he is preparing a mansion for you and will one day wipe away every tear? These truths were written in scripture thousands of years before fairy tales. The Cinderella story is just a shadow of a much greater spiritual longing. When marriage is healthy and men are truly honorable and chivalrous, this is a celebration of the ultimate Prince.”
You know the pictures young kids draw? The scenes they have in their minds that they recreate with jumbo crayons and printer paper that they sneak out of their parents’ office? Unless you’ve witnessed a child prodigy, these drawings are usually unidentifiable. Until the child offers up, “It’s Uncle Johnny in front of his house!!” you have no idea what you’re looking at. Well, marriage is a picture drawn by a child trying to draw our relationships with Christ. Marriage is good. It’s great, even. It’s beautiful (when executed as Christ intended). But in no way does it compare to the relationship we are able to have with Christ.
In fact, we should be so in love with Jesus that we don’t even care whether we get married or not. Because God is love. He is the ultimate goal. PRAISE JESUS we don’t have to wait for true love. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.
We’ve been told all throughout our lives: “Focus on becoming men and women of God and the right one will come.” No. We should focus on becoming men and women of God because the right one already has come.
Matthew 10:34-39. Having Christ is everything, not just a path to achieving the life we think God would want for us.
We should abstain from sex because we love and trust God, not because we are waiting on someone.
We should spend more time falling in love with Jesus than falling in love with the idea of our future spouse.
And if you feel that you’ve already given away your purity, remember there is redemption in Christ. Remember that purity is a state of the heart. It isn’t physical. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) When you exchange your life with Christ, you are made new in entirety. You are made new and in purity.
Fellow Christians, let’s remember that True Love has already come. Let’s start focusing on falling madly in love with Jesus, and Jesus only.
Let’s stop waiting.