When You’re In Love with Love

I am completely in love with love.  It’s past the point of a “hopeless romantic” title. It’s almost (definitely) weird.  I could talk for hours about all the adventures I want to have with my future husband and I watch marriage conferences in my free time.  I’ve taken the 5 Love Languages Quiz more times than I can count (quality time and cuddles are the way to my heart), and I can listen to people’s relationship stories and never grow bored. I look forward to the relationship sermon series at church that others dread, and I love Valentines Day despite my extraordinary singleness.

Recently, God has taught me two very important things through my obsession.

First, I’ve come to the realization that I’m so in love with love that I’m almost scared of it.  Alright so I know what you’re thinking: “This girl’s actually a psycho.” Hear me out.

I’m so passionate about Christ-centered relationships that I hold them to an impossible standard. I lose sight of the fact that a relationship built on Christ consists of two broken people and a beautiful Savior.

I forget that Christian guys make mistakes too.

Somewhere in my subconscious I’ve disillusioned that all the good, pure-intentioned Christian guys are already in perfect relationships and the rest all have the wrong motives.  When I think about it, I know this isn’t true, but Satan uses the misconception to steer me away from beneficial, life-giving relationships.

God’s been using this realization to rebuild trust and breathe life back into my outlook on godly relationships.

Christian guys and Christian girls both want the same thing (or at least should): someone who will inspire them to grow in Jesus; someone who will walk alongside as they pursue a perfect Savior; someone who will serve them and demonstrate Jesus’s actions when he came to this world.

How refreshing and relieving it is to know that the pursuit in a godly relationship is towards a Person and not a lavish engagement, followed by a trendy, hipster wedding, followed by a Christmas-Card-perfect family, and topped off with a house in the mountains with a wrap-around porch (though all accepted bonuses). How refreshing and relieving it is to know that where Jesus is centered, love will remain.

Secondly, the Lord has revealed to me that this deep passion I’ve developed for love doesn’t even begin to skim the surface of the agape love He has for me.  The love in the most beautiful, seemingly perfect relationship will pale in comparison to the love that led God to sacrifice His only Son.

No matter how much I try to grasp the concept of the adoration and obsession Jesus has for me, I will always fail miserably.  When I try, it only ever leads me to a place of speechless awe, with arms lifted and heart surrendered because I have nothing to offer in comparsion.

I can love Jesus with everything in me and just a drop of His love will still drown out my sad attempt.  I can only imagine what God has been thinking as I’ve been typing about how much I love love.  It’s probably something along the lines of: “Bless your soul, young one.  You haven’t even begun to understand what love really is.”

With all this being said, I’m thankful that God has given me this strange obsession with love and I’m even more thankful for the lessons He’s taught me through it.

I’m thankful for the godly men in this world who seek Christ in everything.  To these men: stay encouraged and continue to strive to be all that you are called to be as a man of God.  You’re great and are truly a blessing to this lost world.

Lastly, I’m thankful for the precious blood of Jesus that is love to an infinite extent and the fact that I will never understand it.

With all my love (which is–in case you haven’t grasped by now–a lot),

Xan

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