I’m Telling God I Trust Him, But Am I Really Telling Him To Trust Me?

Since I first encountered Christ, I’ve been entranced by His power. I’ve experienced the power of His miracles. I believe in the power of His miracles. I believe God is sovereign over the big things and the little things in my life.

But regarding the idea of trusting God, He’s revealed a lot to me lately.  As I’ve been earnestly seeking His guidance in prayer, I’ve heard a whisper.  “Are you really trusting me?” 

Instinctively, I tell God, “Yes, I’ve always trusted You and I always will.” But when I take a minute to think about where I truly place my trust, I realize I often deceive myself into thinking I’m trusting in the Lord, when I’m actually telling the Lord to trust me.  

When situations in life come that cause us hurt, we tell ourselves that we trust God to heal our pain.  But are we really trusting that the passing of time will eventually cause us to forget the hurt and move on?

When we’re caught up in the uncertainty of our future and how we’re possibly going to attain the goals we’ve set for ourselves, is our “trusting in God” actually us trusting that God will guide our steps towards the future we’ve dreamed about?

In declaring our trust in God over a broken family or relationship, are we trusting that God will restore the relationship, or are we trusting that even if He doesn’t, it will be greater for His good and the good of the Kingdom?

For someone who never stops dreaming of the future and greatly values a thorough plan, trusting in uncertainty is one of my greatest struggles.  I trust God’s ability to perform miracles. I trust His ability to heal the greatest of pains and restore the deepest of brokenness.  But so often I find myself presenting the Lord with a series of miracles I wish for Him to perform.  I find myself painting a picture of what I perceive as a beautiful future, and asking for His guidance in making it a reality.  

I present rough drafts of my story for my life and ask God to edit them.  I present Him with all that I desire, and ask Him to make some improvements.  I ask for His guidance, but in the back of my mind, I feel like I still know what’s best for me.  I have my story written, after all.

But when God interjects in my life and makes me question all that I’ve perceived as ideal, I realize what it truly means to trust Him.

When the Lord tells us to trust Him with all our heart, He tells us to trust Him with every next step in every day.  He tells us to abandon what we perceive as best for us, and trust that as we live surrendered to Him daily, He will lead us to what is for our good and His.  He tells us to live out of belief that He can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine.

To trust God is to be at peace with uncertainty.  It is to find hope in not knowing what our future holds, but knowing that as long as we are seeking His will, all things will work together for our good.

To trust God is more easily done in theory than in execution, but I find hope in the fact that His gracious gift of the Spirit has the power to transform my heart to a state of surrender and trust.  Without reliance on the Spirit, my attempts to trust in the Lord with all my heart will always default to me leaning on my own understanding.  Only by His supernatural work in my heart will I ever be able to truly put my faith in His plan for my life.

Sometimes it takes God’s whisper for me to be reminded of what I’ve always known in my mind but have struggled to grasp in my heart.  Sometimes God has to bring me to a place of utter uncertainty for me to understand how deceived I’ve been in thinking I’ve been trusting Him.  Sometimes He brings me to a place of doubt to wake me up to the power of His Spirit, drawing me in to rely on Him for every next word and action.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

If you’re like me, you’ve probably grown numb to the power of this verse, as you’ve seen it on graduation cards, journal covers, Instagram bios, and wall canvases. But I encourage you to read it with a new perspective.

Stop trusting yourself for the plans of your future. Stop relying on your own perspectives and understandings to make sense of your present. Instead, ask your Creator for His wisdom, and submit to the situations He presents you.

Instead of presenting the Author of Life your proposed story, submit to His, which is far greater than you could ever imagine.  

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